I'll let my soul drift for awhile
let my spirit graze by strangers
my tears spout curiosity
until someone grabs my passing hand
holds my fingers to their face
and says
"tell me where this dream has been"
I'm going to let the hurt go for a bit
and let the wind blow my emotions
between the grass and leaves,
like a miracle you just missed.
I'll blink my eyes slowly,
inhaling the tastes of
passing ghosts.
I'm going to dance, with
vodka in my hand
and my playful heart
on top my lips.
I'll imagine a better yesterday
intertwining with a beautiful
tomorrow
I'm going to let go
ease my efforts
and wait for
him to come
to me.
I'll sing you
a love song
tonight.
goodbye.
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Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial-No Derivative Works 3.0 License.
Author's Comments
this makes sense to me, and it kinda makes me smile...
tell me if you understand? (I can't believe how much poetry I've been writing lately) Comments
 i like this a lot. its really pretty. :}
--   =  thanks :3
-- JN: ~25.09.89 - 14.01.09~ Forever in my heart Member of =RawEm0tion ~Acid-Burst-Love-Fed Avatar by ~marchetooo CONTEST FOR A CAUSE! WINNERS [link] I wish I could have thought of a better critique. it made me cry a bit though. :}
-- = really? wow, thankyou for letting it touch like that..
may I ask how it made you cry? -- JN: ~25.09.89 - 14.01.09~ Forever in my heart Member of =RawEm0tion ~Acid-Burst-Love-Fed Avatar by ~marchetooo CONTEST FOR A CAUSE! WINNERS [link]  I really love the stanza about vodka and a playful heart.
and say's "tell me where this dream has been" Here, it should be "and says" -- commission me? because.. ..... i think because the person lets themselves hurt. theres a very clean.. sort of joyful feeling to it. even though you can tell the person hurts. my favorite part was the first 3 stanzas.
"until someone grabs my passing hand holds my fingers to their face" "I'm going to let the hurt go for a bit and let the wind blow my emotions between the grass and leaves. like a miracle you just missed." very beautiful :} // -- = thanks, I wasn't sure about that 'says'.
 -- JN: ~25.09.89 - 14.01.09~ Forever in my heart Member of =RawEm0tion ~Acid-Burst-Love-Fed Avatar by ~marchetooo CONTEST FOR A CAUSE! WINNERS [link] :3, thanks, that was kinda the mood I was in when I wrote it, so I'm glad it transferred over.
-- JN: ~25.09.89 - 14.01.09~ Forever in my heart Member of =RawEm0tion ~Acid-Burst-Love-Fed Avatar by ~marchetooo CONTEST FOR A CAUSE! WINNERS [link] |
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November 3
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